I didn’t know I was going to do an article on love so close to Valentine’s Day, and I must say it actually isn’t on purpose.  But I believe I tune into the group consciousness when writing these articles, and what is on the group “mind”.  So, of course, different insights have come through this week about love…specifically love in relationship. And oh, I feel the fire this article may bring up in people.  If that happens, then please see this as a means for something to clear.  Of course, these are my thoughts and feelings and I own them as that. Whatever resonates, take it with you, and what doesn’t, discard.

When we begin to open our heart deeper and deeper to love someone, I believe there are different phases.  There is phase one, where we must get past obvious fears of the human condition: fear of abandonment, trust issues, and vulnerability.  When we stay present with what comes up with our loved ones, and continue to examine, “where is what is happening about me and my wounds?”, we make it through phase one with flying colors!

Phase 2 is peace. It is where all is well and many things have been sorted out.  It is balance and the calm after the storm.  It is a period where you reap the benefits of healed wounds through the love of your beloved and the self.

Just when you think you have it figured out, phase 3 comes along.  Phase 3 are the hidden places where fear resides.  It is the places you didn’t know existed and it may cause people to mistake this for “something not being right”.  I see many clients come to me in this phase where they think the person they are with, is missing certain aspects they like in a partner, or they decide when they finally have what they want, now they want their freedom, and the list goes on and on. It is the phase of dissatisfaction.  If you make it through this phase, it is hopefully because you see that everything you desire in someone else, is what you are desiring within yourself to achieve. Either that or you are tolerating and not enjoying your experience.

Many partners (especially female) will desire to be taken care of more financially.  They will feel frustrated about struggling in this way and make it about their partner.  When you ask yourself the question, “do you feel financially free personally?” and the answer is no, then it means it is time for you to dig deep and cultivate your gifts to bring abundance into your life.

Phase 3 is also about seeing the deep core feeling that many of us on this planet have about not being lovable enough to be worthy of having someone stay for a lifetime. We make it about the other person, so that we do not have to look deep within our own fears of not being enough.  We make problems up about the other people so we do not have to face the deep feeling of core unworthiness of Source/ God’s love. This fear is covert and not obvious. It will show up in the form of feeling “trapped” or feeling like you are drawn to something else. Many people end up cheating in this phase or asking for my favorite in the new age community: the open relationship.  Oooh, I know I am stirring the pot mentioning this one.

The open relationship works for some, but in my counseling of 100’s of people and over 1000 sessions, those in open relationship usually cease to survive them.  There are the rare few that utilize them to truly understand unconditional love and letting go of ownership paradigms, but most truly go into them from deep fear of true intimacy and even a history of sexual abuse.  I can honestly say that 99% of people I have worked with that choose the open relationship have had sexual abuse.  Why is this?

It is because being sexualized at a young age brings about a feeling of confusion of lovability equaling those that give them sexual affection.  This means there is a constant feeling of wanting to be engaged in constant stimulation from people to feel loved.  When true intimacy hits, meaning the real crap comes up, that is when suddenly they long for someone else.  Intimacy in their lives started out without boundaries, without safety, even if it was enjoyable for them. This is very confusing when developing sexuality.

So I share this all because I see how common failed love affairs are, I see how easy it is to give up, and I see how many people in the name of 5D reality shun away from committed, lifelong partnership.  I call in for all who struggle with these things a healing today even if it is not for lifelong partnership, and simply to feel deep love and connection.    I summon the beings of light that is YOU  and I, and the beings that watch over this planet to impulse the violet flame through any nook and cranny that any of us as a group consciousness holds within our vibration related to this, and then I ask it to spread around Earth now.  I call this in so in our own perfect way, we may have a clearing to experience true intimacy with others, whether it be sexual in nature or not.  I summon this so we may transcend the pain of our planets past miscreations and become victorious in the name of love.  I summon this so that we may speak to people we meet with authenticity and acceptance even if just meeting for a short conversation; I command this to be so, so we may not hide under the shroud of fear of not being worthy of love and acceptance.  We are ONE.

And so it is.

Ariah Velasquez

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